Thoughts - Deep, Down, Inside…

Some say Love is selfish, some say Love is selfless. Some say Love opens up one’s eyes, while some say Love is blind. Some say Love is torturous, while some say Love is bliss. To me, Love is what it may just seemed as it is. Different people have different perspective, and it all arises from choices It is the choice that one makes that dictates hoe Love should be.
I have seen too many break ups between my friends while in NS, both old and new alike. They say it is a curse for people entering NS, saying break ups are inevtiable. Just because the guys are entering world full of green, shit and guys, while the girls are entering another world full of life, colours and guys also, does it spell doom for couples?
It is especially heart wrenching to see couples break up when I am looking for a partner myself. It is inevitable to ask why must it happen that way? For too long I have not touched Love. For too long the bliss of Love has occured to me, but also for too long the troubles of Love have come to me as well. I may not understand the real reasons for break ups any more, and i may not understand the feelings of having to go through a break up anymore, but I do understand how it feels to turn Love into Hate.
It is only a thin line between Love and Hate, and it feels terrible to Turn Love into Hate. But why must couples always have to turn Love into hate? Or at least why are the couples around me starting to hate each other after a break up?
It is the choice of 2 people to come together, to love each other, to commit to each other. But there is equal amount of riight to have a choice to seperate from each other and start afresh too. But as much as there is equal amount of rights to get together as it is to seperate to each other, why must seperating from each other turn to be such a hateful affair, which is so much different from blissfully getting started together?
Memories are aplenty, and one special thing about it is that one gets to keep it and no one else can take it away from you. And of course, there will be amny wonderful memories that arises from a relationship. Instead of turning to hate due to something like break up which is many a times beyond control, why not turn the Hate into a willingness to let go and be happy for the beautiful memories you get to keep due to the relationship?
And also, always think about those who didn’t even have a chance to have someone dear to love. Be happy that you once were able to love deeply and passionately. It is always yourself who will suffer the most if there is hate within you.

We have finally reached the end of our pro term of OFFICER CADET SCHOOL. I once believed that it would be of utmost honour for one to enter OFFICER CADET SCHOOL as part of the training during national service. I once believed that it would make my parents real proud of me to march into and out of the parade square of SAFTI MI, as a full-fledged SECOND LIEUTENANT, an OFFICER of the internationally acclaimed defence force, THE SINGAPORE ARMED FORCES. I used to think that it could be a once-in-a-lifetime jouney for anyone to go through the rites of passage of OFFICER CADET SCHOOL. I used to have so much passion and desire to enter OFFICER CADET SCHOOL…..
I think otherwise now. Yes, it is true that I have not been putting effort into making an impact with the course. I have failed to make a stand, make a voice over many issues which were deemed un-officerlike, deemed outrageous as an officer-to-be, deemed unfit to be an officer’s behavior to me. I am totally disgusted with the actions of many of my platoon mates in SIGNAL OFFICER CADET COURSE. I have failed my part as a fellow platoon mate of the course to voice out over the situation, to let them realised how bad the course to officership has grown.
I have failed.
But some of us may not have felt likewise, or may not have even realised it. They were merrily enjoying the fruits of success, for which they have felt they have succeeded to have gone through all the training meant for us. We have indeed gone through all of them. We have indeed come a long way. We have even done many other things out of the scope of the training towards a signal vocation, like leadership project and OOTW. Some of us have even got many honorary awards like the SWORD-OF-HONOUR, SWORD-OF-MERITS, BEST KNOWLEDGE, BEST PT.
Foxtrot Wing is one place deeply etched in my mind. The camaraderie of the wing, the cohesion of the wing, and the ‘little tricks’ up the Wing Comd’s sleeves to boost the morale of cadets are part of the things I remember. But of all the teachings the Wing Comd and his team of instructors have taught us, there is one important thing that is deeply etched in my mind, values.
With the high level of education given to the 3rd generation citizens of Singapore, there can be many people who can be trained to draw radio net diagrams, to stand in front of the platoon to give orders, to draw talcs, to calculate path profiles, and to do all the technical things that a signal officer needs to do. But it is the values of an officer that makes the difference between a rifleman and an officer of the SINGAPORE ARMED FORCES. The integrity, the ethics, the decisiveness, the leadership by example, and most importantly, the Man Above Self Sacrifice that are unique to commanders.
I was particularly inspired by the outstanding values embedded in every training and every so-called ‘talk cock’ sessions given to us by our platoon commanders, platoon sergeants, and section commanders during my time in Mohawk Company in BMT. Though traing was tough, and we were in for a lot of ‘tekan’ sessions in many occasions, every punishments meted out came with total conviction among us. I am not talking about doing 200 jumping jacks nor 100 push ups when i said ‘tekan’ sessions. I meant about 10 repetitions of 50 jumping jacks, 40 pushups, and many other exercises, including the famous change parade. Basically all the ‘forbidden’ corporal punishments were meted out. But I do not recount of any incident in which i were scolding vulgarities in mind mind towards any commanders whom awarded us the ‘tekan’ sessions. This is because they made us realise the reason for being punished, but not by explaining. It was done somehow in the process of punishing us, but in a convincing way where they were no way to argue. Also, the self sacrifice they have all made for the welfare of their recruits impacted me greatly. The sleepless nights they had, and the number of meals skipped just in preparation for the conducting and safety of the following days’ exercises.
And the most important of all, they taught us discipline.
To me, discipline is not about how one could stand still in the parade without moving or one could march from place to place with utmost standard. All this are superficial, done in fear of punishment, and I treat this kind of ‘discipline’ hypocritical. Discipline is about being able to uphold the image of the organisation one belongs to, the status one holds, and to act in a way reflecting the values that comes hand in hand with the status one holds. Just like some of us in the course, who cannot even keep their PSP during the lectures. OFFICERS-TO-BE….
I have not seen any one of the award winners to have been able to instill that kind of discipline. They have not stood out to stop any incorrect actions from being done. We have done many things behind the commanders’ back without their knowledge, many times, but where are they? They are supposed to represent best of the values officers uphold…That is not how officers-to-be are supposed to act, especially even when sword winners are not doing anything. Values.

I am an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.
My duty is to Lead, to Excel, and to Overcome.
I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training, morale and discipline.
I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with Pride, Honour, and Integrity.
I will overcome adversity with Courage, Fortitude and Determination.
I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO SINGAPORE.

But really, how many people are willing to do that?

I am really happy that we are given the opportunity to go through the officership course today. It has made me reflect a lot on what truly makes an officer different from others, different from the other ranks, like warrant officers, specialist and the private soldiers. It made many people realised that it is the ethics and values present in an officer that makes him an officer, different from the rest of the other ranks.
But Santosh also made a statement which was very true. ‘It is personal beliefs which values are based upon.’ I have to agree with this, and now I believe that it is not because they do have the values, but it is their beliefs, which is very subjective, that affects their values.
It is because I believe, I commit, therefore I am.
Apparently and disappointingly I feel that many of my fellow cadets in the platoon do not have very good beliefs. ‘You have to be cautious of your beliefs, because your beliefs affects your speech. You have to be cautious of your speech, because your speech affects your actions. You have to be cautious of your actions, because your actions reflects of your values.’ said Chief Instructor, OCS, 231106.
I am also appalled by many cadets’ actions during a video screening during a lecture teaching about the Malayan Campaign of the Japanese during WWII. The video depicts of Japanese soldiers cheering when a territory was being announced to be conquered by the Japanese, and the cheering scene was repeated again and again as one territory was being announced conquered one by one by the narrator. To my shock, many cadets started to cheered subsequently as the scene of cheering was being played over and over again. Is this a joking matter? Is this a funny scene to laugh about? Officers-to-be…
Values.
THE OFFICERS CREED
I am an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces.
My duty is to Lead, to Excel, and to Overcome.
I lead my men by example.
I answer for their training, morale and discipline.
I must excel in everything I do.
I serve with Pride, Honour, and Integrity.
I will overcome adversity with Courage, Fortitude and Determination.
I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO SINGAPORE.
We were told that the Officers’ Creed encompasses the role of an SAF officer. With many of the behavior I observed of the present day cadets, who are supposed to be leaders in the nation’s defence, I am seriously worried about the future of Singapore. I lead my men by example? I answer for their training, morale and discipline? Without this attributes of a good leader, how do we excel in everything we do, serve with Pride, Honour, and Integrity, and overcome adversity with Courage, Fortitude and Determination? Just like how many dynasties in the Golden Age in ancient China fell because of the incompetencies and complacency of the 3rd generation leaders, will Singapore also be one of the examples of this repetition of history?
Values.

It is only recently that I realised alot of things, things that i have never thought of it before. Perhaps we humans who are constantly stuck in the silent but ever present war of survival-of-the-fittest that we are too busy to realise it.

There are all sorts of people that I have met during this whole year serving the nation as a worker who gets paid for a job which people wished that its duties would never have to be carried out. There are some who are very quiet, and some who are really eloquent. Some who are very simple-minded, and some who are always deep in thought. Of course, like in many organisations, some who puts up a show to superiors, and some who are the unsung heroes.

It is during the time spent talking with those who are constantly in deep thoughts that made me wonder about the reasons for humans to do certain things in this world.

Have anyone wondered why parents would always teach their children the values of right and wrong when they are a child, but yet teach them to take shortcuts, cut corners and get around things when they only got older? Why bother to teach them the right then?

This makes me wonder then, what is really right and what is really wrong? People often said that it is the wrong that makes the right, and evil for justice to exist. But who judges what is right and what is wrong? ‘One’s terrorist is another’s freedom fighter’. This is solely based on perspective.

Perspective. Is there really truth in the world then? All the truth we know are based on what we can see, smell, taste, touch and hear. But what truth is there when we cannot see as sharp as an eagle, cannot smell as far as a dog, and cannot hear a wider frequency range of sound as a wolf? So what gives us the right to kill a person true something called capital punishment? Just by gathering in a nice air-con room, debating in what we called languages which animals consider it as rubbish, just like how we treat animals’ grunts and howls as noises, and basing on manufactured truth like law?

Murder, robbery and fraud have always been condemned. But has anyone questioned why? Is it just because it is labelled as wrong? Or is it because they cause sufferings to another? Why is it considered wrong when truth is manufactured then? Would it still be wrong to murder a murderer, and rob a rich person to alleviate the sufferings of the born-poors? What is the difference between a soldier shooting another enemy soldier from a militant shooting an enemy politician? Why only legalise killings in war whe latter are considered enemy to the former in both situations?

If people believes only in the ultimate truth that everyone agreed to be facts as they could be authenticated by the five inferior senses relative to other organisms on earth, why do humans also believe in religion, something that deals with the extra-terrestrial and cannot be authenticated by the five senses?

All these while, we humans have been to busy to keep up with the routine that we have set ourselves to follow by. To get up. To go to work. To come home. To spent time for the family. To spent time for recreation. To earn money. But have anyone realised that we have been kept busy with concepts we have created ourselves. We could not be bothered to seek the answer to the ask 3 basic questions of ‘who am I? where do I come from? where am I going to?’, but keep producing manufactured knowledge (the adjective ‘manufactured’ is redundant when talking about ‘knowledge’, just like describing a ‘robot’ as ‘artificial) to temporarily satisfy our curious minds just to free it up to get back to work on the manufactured concepts and routine of life.

Perspective is the key. It all comes to emptiness to argue.

This entry is all based on simple logic which manufacture truth relies on. If you agree with it, you are not getting me.