Thoughts - Deep, Down, Inside…

Alright I found out that it has been AGES since I have last entered this place to blog.

I don’t really have alot of ideas this time round to start all the ra-ra and all the huh-zi-cheng-I-don’t-understand-what-you-are-talking-about-again feelings in me. Its not the late night deep emo burst I have again. I just feel that I should keep this place alive.

So get ready for some random thoughts.

It is not that I have nothing to say, that nothing big has happened and everything is fairytale-like to me. NO! It just that all my burdens has now become not my burden anymore. It has become God’s burden. I only need to pray. So all my words went into prayers instead of coming to here. So literally thank God, ’cause now your eyes can have more rest instead of reading all my ra-ras and complaints.

Easter was nothing like before this year. It has become from a day of anger, denial and uneasiness to a day of joy, peace and sacrifice. Those of you who knows, knows, and it was a great performance wasn’t it? Only if the whole world was there…I really think that the professionalism of all the actors could outdo those in the profession! It was a total eye-opener for me. All through God’s strength. And of course, met a few nice peeps there as well! I can’t believe we actually spent more time talking to each other than rehearsing actually. It was kinda sad that this whole thing had to end and we all had to go back to our CGs scattered all over Singapore. I’m missing those times already…

Pastor said it is only during times of satisfaction, and not times of lack, that we tend to forget about God. How true. I experienced the departure of His presence during times of satisfaction. And it is scary.

I need a helper in my life like how Adam got his in Eden. But let it not tempt me away from You.

Life is getting on in a circle. Viscous cycle. A cycle running on battery, lights are getting weaker as it goes by. I’m tired.

I’m tired of guessing if the helper is the one You sent. Show me soon, please. Let me be so sure of it, for I know if there are doubts, that’s not it.

For the one You send, let it possible for both of us to walk together in Your way.

But I know i shouldn’t be worrying about that. I need to put You first, and everything else shall be given to me.

Change.